[Part One]Pairing: Seulyong [Seulgi and Taeyong] Concept: Ordinary Life!Au [1st Part] "I am breaking up with you," Taeyong said as soon as Seulgi sat down on the chair in front of him. She was still holding her folded umbrella and catching her breath from running under the rain when Taeyong announced the news of her newly acquired single status. It's not like Seulgi had an attention span deficiencyor suffered from a trauma that made her unable to understand his words but it seemed like her brain really didn't process his words until he repeated them slowly (but still as harshly) for her a second time. It had suddenly started pouring outside when she received a call from him where he asked her to urgently come meet him at the café down the street. He said it was urgent so she left whatever she was doing (mind you, she was at a library looking for a new book to buy for him) and ran to meet him. Seulgi had entered the café exactly one minute ago, she still had her coat on and was still trying to figure out why did he sound so preoccupied on the phone call earlier. She got her answer sooner than she expected. Seeing that Seulgi wouldn't talk, Taeyong continued. "You don't want to ask why?" Seulgi put down her bag and her umbrella on the floor and dried the tiny drops that fell on her face with a napkin before pursing her lips. So she didhear right. "Are you writing a new novel?" she said after a long pause. Taeyong scowled as if she said the most outraging thing. "What does that have to do with anything?" he asked with a frown. "Whether I am writing something or not, I just said that I am breaking up with you." Seulgi thought of reminding him that the last bestseller he wrote was about his ex and that this novel was the reason why they even started dating in the first place but she kept her lips tightly shut and scanned the menu nevertheless. "I think I'll take a white chocolate latté," Seulgi said even if Taeyong never asked and there wasn't any waitress around. "Give me a second, I'm just going to order real quick," she said as she got up. Their story didn't start romantically at all: Seulgi couldn't understand why in the world would someone write something so despicable and stupid like You Don't Love Me, You Love Yourselfso she thought of letting Lee Taeyong, the author know. She also didn't understand why so many people would buy this junk of a book and how it was his third bestseller when a writer like him was supposed to be banned from ever touching a computer or a sheet of paper again. She lashed out on him with every bit of courage she had when she caught him going to his car after the event. Seulgi went all the way to call him women's biggest enemyand threw at him the book he had just signed for her (because as she said "trash belongs in the trash can") and he said he fell in love. Not so much anymore she figured. "So, what is this about?" Seulgi said before sitting down again in front of a Taeyong who seemed to have calmed down. "We're breaking up," Taeyong repeated. "So I heard." "Can't you look a bit more surprised?" "I am! It's just that it totally looks like something you would do," she said as she took a sip of her drink. "And also because I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I don't understand at all." Of course she didn't understand when she was at his apartment eating some Chinese take out while watching the latest drama's rerun in his arms just yesterday. "It's normal that you don't understand because you don't make the rules and I don't either. It's complicated but really simple at the same time," Taeyong told her with a sigh. Seulgi somehow felt like she knew where this was going and she didn't exactly like it. "It's not you it's me?" she tried with a raised eyebrow. Really, if Taeyong broke up with her with something as lame as the most overused breaking up excuse, she would throw her drink at his face. He was a writer, he could do better. "It's not you and it's not me either," he said apologetically. "It's love." Seulgi looked at him more deadpanned than she wished she would have but let him continue nonetheless. "Loveis the problem. And our love expired today at noon." "It did?" Seulgi asked, trying to contain a laugh as Taeyong seriously nodded at her. "You should have let me know so I could get another one." Writers could be so poeticto not say weird and this whole situation was the perfect example of it. What a strange way to say that he didn't love her anymore. If Taeyong truly did because Seulgi had a hunch that he still liked her. Very much. "It's not funny Seulgi," Taeyong snapped. "We're talking about serious things here." "Yes please go ahead, I'm sorry." "So love is the problem," he started as Seulgi nodded. "But that's because love doesn't exist." He finally had her. Seulgi's left eyebrow naturally rose up after hearing this nonsense. "What do you mean love doesn't exist?" "At least yourdefinition of love doesn't," he calmly explained. "Remember, I'm just rationally thinking and—" "Yes I know, this is youropinion and we shouldn't fight over opinions because it's meaningless. People don't change their mind until they see they are wrong on their own," Seulgi finished. They had talked about this so many times before and this is why their fights never lasted: they had to compromise or just give up when they couldn't agree on something. "Exactly, so let me finish before retaliating." Seulgi bit the insides of her cheek as this didn't seem really good. She couldn't exactly promise Taeyong she wouldn't interrupt him during his explanation but still told him she would try to keep her comments for herself. "Tell me what is your definition of love Seulgi," he started. "Love?" she slightly blushed. This was a bit unexpected and honestly, she knew that she would sound childish or too innocentas he would usually say but whatever, it would come out the way it would. "Love is having someone dear to you that you would do many things for like—" "Like sacrifices?" "I suppose," she buffered. "But it's more than that, it's to feel happy sacrificing something to make the other one happy." "That's a lie. That's a downright lie," Taeyong said as he shook his head. "Sacrificing means losing something dear to you. How can you love it?" "Losing it for someone even more dear to you," Seulgi retorted. "So you're giving up on something youlike for someone else?" Taeyong asked with a frown. "Isn't that toxic? And what do you do when you have nothing else to sacrifice but your love since that's the only thing you have left after sacrificing things for that person? You're going to throw it away too because you have to sacrifice everything for you loved one isn't it?" "I didn't say everything," Seulgi blurted. She hated how good Taeyong was at twisting her words. "But when you have nothing left but your love for that person after many sacrifices, it means that you lost everything, am I right or am I wrong?" "I also said that you have to take pleasure in sacrificing things for your partner for it to be love," she added. "Okay let's say humans suddenly started loving losing their things for other humans and forgot their natural selfishness and survival instincts," Taeyong continued. "Where do we stop? What about 'your freedom starts where mine ends'?" Taeyong quoted. "Where is myfreedom Seulgi?" Seulgi's throat became dry and she thought of taking a break to drink from her latté that was slowly turning cold but she couldn't detach her eyes from Taeyong's piercing gaze. He was always so into it whenever they talked about humans. It then suddenly hit her that Taeyong told her once that he really paid attention during his philosophy classes. Of course. "Compromises," she mumbled. "Okay, I give and you give. But where is the line and who gives more? Obviously me, Seulgi thought. That's what a 'bottom' does. "Where is yourfreedom and where are my sacrifices?" "Okay Taeyong I get it!" Seulgi snapped. "Humans tend to feel like they are losing some parts of themselves when they are in love, I get it." "Yes you finally said it!" Taeyong ironically smiled. "Love is a cage and an illusion at the same time! Because we know what the exterior looks like through the tiny gaps of the cage, we feel like we are part of what is outside and free. But when we try to get out we realize that we were in fact locked inside," Taeyong passionately continued. "And when we finally get out of it one way of another, we see that we left some feathers inside as we look back. You're right Seulgi, we lose ourselves for the ones we love." Seulgi didn't understand everything although she kinda grasped what he was trying to say but really, did he just compare her to a cage? Did she hear that right? "Taeyong," she softly said because she couldn't believe her own ears. "You are not a bird." "It was a metaphor," he chuckled with his soft gaze lingering on her. Taeyong felt like he was already missing her. It shouldn't feel like losing anything if it's truelove in the first place, Seulgi figured without the courage to say it out loud. "Forget all that, I give you a second chance. What is your definition of love Seulgi?" "I don't know Mr-Know-It-All, why don't you go look up your ass to find the answer since it seems like that's where all your bullshit comes from." Obviously Seulgi didn't say that and simply took the chance to quickly drink her latté before taking a deep breath. She felt like she wasn't going to win this one and internally blessed herself for not having bought the book she envisaged taking for him about first love earlier. It would have been a seriouswaste. "Love should give you butterflies in the stomach and make your heart beat fast—" "Okay no wait," Taeyong laughed sarcastically. "What are butterflies in your stomach? What does that mean? Literally." "That your stomach churns at the sight of someone you love," Seulgi answered hesitantly. "Great you confirmed for me that love is a disease," he gave her a proud smile. "Heart beating fast, stomach churning, body temperature rising —you were going to say that too I guess, members trembling, sweaty hands, irrational thoughts and strange actions," Taeyong continued to list. "These are all symptoms of a disease. And that disease is love." Seulgi wanted to scoff. That was so pretentious of him but at the same time she was used to it. Taeyong fed out of people's reaction. He loved to make them uncomfortable with what he called the raw truth. If it didn't shock them or made them rethink their position on something, it wasn't worth it. "Don't look at me like that, I am just saying it the way nobody wants to hear it," Taeyong tried to defend himself. "It's like how people refuse to accept the fact that a baby is scientifically a virus attacking the mother until she ejects it on her own out of her body," he shrugged. "The 'baby' gives her nausea, feeds out of her blood, grows in her body and gets out when it is done taking everything it had to take, that's a virus, Seulgi." "Lee Taeyong!" Seulgi yelled at the harshness of his words. "Have you lost your mind?" "Remember? I am thinking rationally," he said to calm her. "Let's go back to love that is a disease, " he continued. "If it's a disease, there needs to be a cure." "Let me guess: breaking up?" Seulgi deadpanned. "Worse Seulgi, there is none," Taeyong said dramatically. "You just said there needs to be a cure." "Needs doesn't mean does," he smirked at her. Seulgi couldn't remember how she fell for that brilliant mind again because now she felt like Taeyong was left with only two brain cells. "Society is giving us the illusion that you can cureor secureyour love through materialistic objects," he continued. "What is this again?" Seulgi sighed. "It's true! Going over a heartbreak through songs you have to buy, alcohol, a new romantic movie or binge eat ice cream. You can secure it by buying your lover a ring, chocolate, roses, cards," he listed. "Valentines Day is the most significant way to show your lover how many zeroes you have on your bank account and that's it. Nothing more nothing less," Taeyong scoffed. "And don't get me started on marriage." "What about marriage?" Seulgi asked with a raised eyebrow. Honestly at this point, nothing could surprise her anymore: he said he was a bird, she was a cage, that love didn't exist, humans were selfish and that a fucking baby was a virus. "It's the biggest way to ruin yourself," he started. "Society wants you to think that getting married is the most beautiful thing by portraying it in movies and series because it brings them money, Seulgi! Do you know how expensive a wedding is? It's a conspiracy. Have you noticed how everyone is getting money but only the people involved in the marriage are losing? Even the damn taxi driver down the road who is going to drive all the people to church is getting richer by the second." Seulgi checked the time, this was really going on forever. "Tying yourself for eternity to someone you won't love for over ten months is ridiculous, Seulgi!" he said although she was pretty done listening to his monologue as soon as he said ruin yourself to talk about marriage. "Do you see that when the couple realizes the mistake they just made, it's too late?" Taeyong continued. "They start lashing out their anger of being tied to the same person for the rest of their lives on each other, they cheat, they say things they don't mean and that's when it becomes ugly. The saddest part is that they start to hate each other when really the only thing they should resent is love itself." Taeyong gave Seulgi a tired smile that she didn't return. "So that's why I'm breaking up with you, Seulgi," he finished. "You're breaking up with me because you don't want to marry me?" Seulgi repeated too shocked to even be mad. This was way out of her comprehension level. "We've been dating for 10 months Taeyong! 10 months! We celebrated our 300 days literally 4 days ago!" "I know," he sighed. "But this is the only sacrifice I will do in the name of love." Seulgi tried her best to not slap him across the face right there and then in the café and took a deep breath to calm herself. She held her head in her hands to think of positive things like rainbows and unicorns. Maybe ice cream too because it was past noon and she hadn't eaten anything. "But if I understand correctly, you never loved me?" she asked too afraid to listen the answer after the words escaped her lips. "I did and I still do." "How can you feel something you don't believe in?" Seulgi frowned. This was getting ridiculous and she wasn't even sure of what she didn't understand anymore. "Listen Seulgi, let's say that your definition of love, which is the one society forced on you and is meant to sell things to people who only love for a certain time is called Love A. Then I love you in a B way." "Taeyong, I don't understand a single thing," Seulgi confessed. "I don't know if you're trying to be poetic or anything but if you want to break up with me, make it in a way so that I can understand at least." "The love B which is reallove is really powerful and only lasts 10 months because that's the time you have before you start reproaching things to your lover. After that, Love A comes on. And I don't need that." She still looked at him in the weirdest way. "Seriously Seulgi, do you see us fighting about bills, who will bring the kids to their dance class and what to do about the walls that I will never paint because I'm not good at that?" Added to her confused expression, a frown appeared on Seulgi's angelic face. What in the world was he saying? "I am breaking up with you before I start hating you since I don't want to hate you," he explained. “And society makes us hate the ones we love. Did you know that more than half of married couples get a divorce nowadays? It has become normal!” Then it finally hit her. "Taeyong, do you smoke?" she whispered to make sure the table next to them wouldn't hear her. "Crack, is that what you smoke? Do you smoke crack?" she repeated as he didn't understand her. "What?" "Are you high?" she said slowly. "No, I'm not and I don't smoke Seulgi what are you saying? I think you would know by know if I did," Taeyong answered completely lost and a bit offended. "I believe in everything I said. That's my opinion." "Well your opinion is trash Taeyong." There she goes, it finally came out. "Don't be mean, now," he tried to calm her. "Honestly, I am not breaking up with you but with your idea of love." "Is that supposed to comfort me?" "You're the only woman I love enough to cheat on," Taeyong added. "What the hell does that mean?" Seulgi snapped. "Did you cheat on me? Is this why we're having this ridiculous conversation?" "No, I didn't! Of course not," Taeyong reassured her. "I wouldn't. That's just my philosophy." "Then what do you mean?" "That I would still date you but see someone else after our 10th month. So that I can hate that person instead of you." Seulgi reached her limit. This was pure nonsense. "I don't know if this was all meant to anger me but fine, you win Taeyong. I give up. You are trash," Seulgi said before getting up. "I should have known from the moment I threw that stupid book at your face. You're immature and selfish. And dumb too!" "Seulgi," he softly called as she picked up her stuff. "That's what I've been trying to tell you since the beginning. Look, after ten months it gets ugly and I am not made for thislove." "You have issues Lee Taeyong." "So do you, we all do!" he chuckled. "That's human'snature." "No that's just your fucked up mind." Seulgi glanced down to her half empty cup of white chocolate latte and decided she would go for it. "Trash belongs in the trash can," she said slowly as the drink fell on Taeyong's head. "Thanks for nothing, really." Seulgi angrily went out of the café and left Taeyong sitting in his pool of sweet coffee as everyone looked at him. Unexpectedly, he was chuckling instead of being mad. "I'm fine thank you," he mumbled as a waitress ran to give him more napkins. "I'm used to it. It happens every ten months." [Part Two]Who was he trying to fool? Taeyong couldn't live without Seulgi and he knew it. She probably knew it too because she knew him so well. Taeyong meant it when he said he loved her. It's just that she didn't hear it between all the bullshit he said.
He did that a lot and many times before in that café but it was the first time breaking up really felt like losing something. Taeyongtruly didn't believe in marriage nor in the love that is made to sell things to people but he believed he loved Seulgi. And the supposed feathers he left in that cage called Kang Seulgi or more commonly known as lovewere not a few tears and some other toxic things but his whole damn heart. Truthfully, he expected her to pass by his apartment on Friday of the same week because that's what she always did but he spent the whole day waiting for her in front of the door. She didn't come on Saturday neither. Or Sunday. Monday. Tuesday too. She didn't come on Wednesday nor Thursday. Seulgi didn't come back. Taeyong nevertheless waited for her calls and for her to at least ask him how he was doing but nothing. Maybe Seulgi was even more petty than he thought or she really did stop caring for him the moment he “broke up” with her. Taeyong couldn’t bear with the idea that the second option was a possibility. That's why he pretended with all his might that Seulgi was just mad at him and that she would eventually come back. A week passed since they broke up and they were acting like more than complete strangers: Seulgi and Taeyong were like strangers who hadn't even met yet. He was still waiting for her in the same position: lying on the couch in front of the door, looking at it for hours and repeating her name as if it was a spell that would make her pass through the door anytime soon. “She left?” Youngho had asked Taeyong when he came to see his friend who refused to come out of his house (“I might miss Seulgi if she comes back,” he explained). He didn’t come to the hang outs, he didn't go shopping for groceries as usual or taken a step outside to breathe some fresh air. Taeyong did what he had to do in front of that stupid door: waiting for Seulgi to come back. “I made her leave,” he answered with a shrug. “Again with that 10 months thing?” Youngho frowned. “Maybe you should stop asking the people you love to leave you and get sad over it for weeks. Maybe then you would be a tiny bit more sane.” “Sane people don’t write bestsellers,” Taeyong said on a matter-of-fact tone with the same empty eyes he had been wearing for days looking at the ceiling. “They make stupid novels about love stories everyone already read before and end up being forgotten.” “You already have three well known books Taeyong, you didn’t have to sacrifice Seulgi just so you could write another book,” Youngho reasonably said. He knew his friend could be stupid but that was really one of the only thing he could never understand about him. “I didn’t sacrifice her, she left on her own,” Taeyong scoffed. "After I made her leave." “If I remember correctly the usual bullshit you rely on, you told Seulgi that love didn’t exist, which technically means that you never loved her, that she was dumb for thinking love existed in this century and that she was just another puppet of the society for believing in what they created up to make money,” Youngho successfully listed. “Anybody would leave, you asked for it Taeyong.” Taeyong fidgeted with the couch’s pillow and struggled to not put it on his face and just let himself die under the pressure of a lack of oxygen. It hurt. He was hurting and that’s what he was supposedly looking for to write that stupid book called Women Only Live to Break your Heart. Now that he got the pain, where was the book? Taeyong hadn't written a single thing since Seulgi left. He was supposed to be used to this as he always gave up on his girlfriends in the same way after 10 months so he wouldn't get attached but maybe this time it hurt more than it should. He missed Seulgi so much he felt like he was going crazy. Not one call, not even one message. She completely erased him from her life so easily. “I hate her,” he finally said with a broken voice. “You’re not going to start crying after breaking up with her on your own now,” Youngho scowled. “Have you ever thought of telling your girlfriends that you’re scared of love and that’s why you put on this crappy show every 10 months? To see who stays and who leaves? By now you should know that nobody stays, dimwit.” “Seulgi was supposed to.” “Well she didn’t because she is sane and won’t stay with a guy who pretends he doesn’t have a heart just because his is too big and might get broken too many times along the way. You’re dumb Taeyong.” Taeyong choked back a tear and threw the pillow at his friend’s face. Fuck this, fuck her and fuck Youngho. “I am not dumb,” he said before getting up. “Love lasts ten months and nobody proved me wrong yet! Look how easy it is for her to forget me! Next thing I know she has a new boyfriend and I’ll still be obsessed with her.” “You need to stop with this thing or you’ll end up alone, ugly and depressed in a few years.” “That’s fine, at least I’ll still be right,” Taeyong yelled from the kitchen. Being heartbroken made him hungry. “The biggest romantic stories did too: Romeo and Juliet was tragic and didn’t last. Jack and Rose’s love didn’t die on the damn Titanicjust so a stupid fanfic tell me that love is eternal. This is real lifeYoungho! You want another example? What about Tristan and Isolde? Helen and Paris? Catherine and Heathcliff? Even fucking Hazel and Augustus and Eleanor and Park's lovedidn’t survive! And that shit still makes me cry but that’s normal because the biggest romantic stories are tragic!” Taeyong was borderline yelling now, the neck on his veins ready to pop off at any moment. He picked two slices of bread that he put on his plate and started making himself a sandwich. “Did you know that your favorite Disney stories are all fake and that the real tales written by the Brothers Grimm were depressing?” he continued. “Sleeping beauty never fucking wakes up and Cinderella’s stepsisters cut off their toes to fit into that stupid shoe in the name of love!” Taeyong rants. “And money! of course that too,” he adds after taking an angry bite of his sandwich. “This is all capitalism! They want to make you believe love exists!” Youngho stopped himself from telling Taeyong that it was well known that the Brothers Grimm's stories were all still a speculation and that we didn’t exactly know how the original stories went on from too many versions but he knew how much Taeyong hated being wrong and maybe it felt good to think that everyone suffered just as much as he did. “Don’t you think there are nice love stories too? What about The Notebook? That lasted more than 10 months.” “She couldn’t even recognize his face by the end!” Taeyong continued to yell before taking another bite of his sandwich. He mumbled something again and took a sip from his orange juice. “If love doesn’t get rid of your last brain cells with its stupidity, another disease will and that’s it.” “You’re so depressing Taeyong, you have issues.” Taeyong’s eyes opened wide and he hysterically clapped at Youngho. Maybe Taeyong lost it after Seulgi left him after all. “That’s what she said too! Maybe I do need help but maybe you all do too because you fucking believe in something that doesn’t exist!” he said before opening the fridge to put back his sandwich. He wasn’t hungry anymore, thinking of Seulgi always made him lose his appetite. That too was something he hated about love. Taeyong’s breath got caught in his throat and he choked back a sob when his eyes landed on a pack of banana milk Seulgi had bought and left in his fridge because she wanted to drink it “when she would come back on Friday” as she said two weeks ago. But it was Thursday and she never came back. Plus, the milk expired yesterday. Taeyong’s legs gave up on him and he sat down on the floor with his eyes still glued onto the tiny yellow bottles. “What should I do when even the milk is going bad without you Seulgi?” he started to sob again. Taeyong continued to cry in the kitchen with his half eaten sandwich in one hand and the lonely pack of banana milk in the other that he was painfully looking at. Seulgi, Seulgi, Seulgi. Taeyong looked like a kid at this point. “Youngho she won’t come back," he sniffled. “You’re the biggest fucking hypocrite I’ve ever seen,” Youngho deeply sighed. - - - - - - - Taeyong was back on the couch, lifelessly looking at the door as if it meant anything and that he was still waiting for Seulgi. He wasn’t anymore because he knew she wouldn’t come back. They broke up two weeks ago and she didn’t give him any sign since then. It was over. “I don’t need her, she’s despicable,” Taeyong repeated like a mantra. He believed that if he repeated it enough, it would become true. "She's a woman and women only live to break your heart." Taeyong was dressed properly for the first time since God knows when because Youngho forced him to (he tried to make Taeyong come out of the house too but that seemed impossible. “You said you weren’t waiting for her anymore,” Youngho had said. Taeyong only shrugged because deep down he knew he was and that he didn’t need a reason to be depressed). Since he lost Seulgi, Taeyong could spend a whole hour in the shower because he thought it was cool that he couldn’t tell if he was crying or not under the water and wear several types of ugly socks to express his sorrow. But today was different because Youngho forced him to go back to his roots. He was supposed to hand in the first version of his manuscript next week but his novel had been stopped the moment Seulgi walked out of that café and he couldn’t type oneword since then. His whole life stopped and he thought that’s exactly what he needed to write but he didn’t know the fall would be so harsh when he planned to break up with Seulgi. The fall had been hard and left him breathless. Wrecked. Taeyong fell and he couldn’t get up anymore. The main point of his story being getting up after being let down but he just couldn’t find the will to. He missed Seulgi, that’s the only thing he coulddo. The doorbell rang and maybe Taeyong heard it (there was no sound in the house as he was silently lying on the couch) but he pretended he didn’t because that’s what heartbroken people do: they pretend they don’t care. Taeyong couldn’t keep being depressed as the loud and piercing sound of his doorbell continued to go off in his ears and finally got him on his two feet by the fifth ring. “What the fuck do you want Youngho?” Taeyong snapped as soon as he opened the door. Unfortunately or fortunately for him, he didn’t know at this point, Seulgi was standing behind the door with a confused expression and was a bit startled by Taeyong’s sudden outburst. She looked at him with surprise and he looked back at her completely lost. Taeyong’s barriers fell down deeper than they have before and made him completely weak in the knees. “Youngho called to tell me that you didn’t know what to do with my expired banana milk,” she simply said. God, how he missed her voice. "Is that the only thing he told you?" "No but he said that I couldn't tell you the rest," Seulgi added. Taeyong could already picture Youngho telling her how miserable he looked without her and that he literally cried over expired milk for two hours just because it reminded him of her. Youngho could and he probably did which was why Taeyong could never trust him with his love affairs. Seeing that he wouldn’t say anything, Seulgi pushed him aside so she could step into his apartment and took off her shoes as he desperately looked at her. Taeyong watched her walk calmly to the fridge to get the milk in question and noted how pretty her back view was. Had it always been this perfect or it was just the fact that he hadn’t it seen lately that made him think this way? Taeyong had to add in his novel that love was a virus that distorted humans' vision and that it was just another symptom of this epidemy. It was crazy how Seulgi always inspired him. His muse opened the fridge and got the milk in question in no time. She verified if it was indeed pass the date written in green on the small bottles and sighed when she confirmed it was. Seulgi opened the trash can's lid and a loud thud followed after she let the heavy pack fall at the bottom of the trash can. Seulgi looked up to see that Taeyong had been looking at her from the start and was still stuck in front of the wide open door looking like the dumb idiot he was (without her that is). She walked to him but only stopped to put on her shoes. “You’re already going?” he heard himself ask although that wasn’t his intention. Love controlled minds and nerves too, amazing. Another thing to write about. Seulgi nodded without looking at him as she reached for her sneaker. Taeyong grabbed her hand which kept her from putting it on and lifted her head up with his other hand. He wanted to see her eyes.. “Stay,” he painfully said but it sounded more like he was begging her. “Get lost Taeyong,” was her only answer. Taeyong ignored the stinging pain in his chest but still took note that he was right and that his heart was only alive when she was around. "Do you want me to get on my knees? I'll do it." "I don't want you to get on your knees, I want you to let me go," Seulgi spat. "Literally." Seulgi ordered so Taeyong obeyed. He reluctantly let go of her wrist only to take it back just as soon as Seulgi took another step to leave. "I don't think I can do this," Taeyong said quickly. "You're pathetic Taeyong," Seulgi seethed. "You're the one who broke up with me. Get a hold of yourself and go back to being this selfish inspired writer who can't write anything without hurting others. And himself!" she added. "Why don't you write a story about how love lasts 10 months and how stupid your ex was to think love was more than just a disease? Honestly that would be the cherry on top!" It hurt more than Taeyong thought it would to hear Seulgi call herself his ex and he would have probably let himself fall down to the floor to huddle against his knees if it weren't for his pride. That big heart of his had always been a weakness and he thought he was used to heartbreaks now after going through so many in the name of literature but no. He had to be a softie. Taeyong brought her closer to his body, unconsciously dreading the moment she would snap and really leave him by going through the door. "I came to the conclusion that I may not be able to live without you," he said. Taeyong cringed when he heard his own voice repeat those words. Love was not cute but it surely made people say cute stuff. "Well you can't live with me either," Seulgi reminded him. "I'm a prison for your freedom. A stupid cage." "Indeed there is only one thing worse than living with you and it's to live without you." "Was that supposed to be romantic?" Seulgi frowned. "It sounded like an insult." "I love you Seulgi." "Empty words again," Seulgi breathed before detaching herself from him. "Are you forgetting that I am tying you to something that doesn't exist? And that you will start to hate me because of our failed marriage?"" "And it's fine! Let's be delusional and think this will last forever, I'm ready to take on the challenge if it means getting back my life. With you," he awkwardly said. "Because I love you." "Enough with this! You don'tlove Taeyong, you write about it," Seulgi fumed. He seriously loved how mean she sounded and how angry she looked. Love gives you kinks, he added to his list. "I don't know what I am feeling for you is then but it’s really a pain the ass," Taeyong said as he closed the gap between their bodies. "It makes me act like an idiot and gives me a reason to do absolutely nothing but thinking of you for days. It also makes you seem like the most important thing in my life when in reality Ishould the most important thing in my life—" "Selfish prick." "—It even looks like I can't do anything without you and it's dumb because humans are born alone and they also die on their own which means that I should be perfectly fine living without you. Well, I didlive well before you appeared and threw my own book at my face and calling me trash." "Just say you hate me and go," Seulgi tiredly sighed. "I hate you," Taeyong said before cupping her face. "I hate you for having so much power over me and for making me think I could live without you just to be ready to fall to my knees at your command. That's pathetic. But I think that's love." "I don't need your new discovered disease and marketing plan to turn humans into walking wallets," Seulgi said before pushing his hands off her. "You can keep your love." Taeyong brought his hands back to where they belong which mean Seulgi's waist and leaned closer. "I dare you to kiss me," Seulgi threatened ready to slap Taeyong at the given chance. "Love is modern day slavery," he simply said before closing the gap between their lips. "It makes people lose all power over their actions," he continued before kissing her again. "And the only thing they can blame is their own heart for falling so hard for someone else." Taeyong deepened the kiss and brought his hand to Seulgi's cheek. "I love you," he whispered in her ear after pulling apart. "You don't know what love is." Seulgi tried to push him but her strength could only do so much against his. Taeyong softly caressed her lips with his thumb before planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Just how much did he miss her to be so obsessed with kissing her? Taeyong figured that if he could he would do it everywhere and let his lips touch every single inch of skin on Seulgi’s body. "I don't know what it is but I love you," Taeyong sincerely said. His eyes were deeply reflected in Seulgi's and he didn't need words to know it. She could push him away for as long as she wanted and say whatever she wanted but Seulgi felt exactly the same way as he did. "Show me what is love Seulgi." There was a slight moment of hesitation from Seulgi's side that was probably the outcome of debating to fall back (and hard) for the man who didn't believe love existed or the one right in front of her that promised he was in love with her. How come they were the same person? How could Taeyong love her and look so genuine about it when he spent 30 mins telling her it was fake just two weeks ago? It didn't make any sense. Any of this did and she knew the love she had for him wasn't exactly more rational. Seulgi's love for Taeyong was unconditional. She cupped his face and leaned to kiss him. Taeyong responded as soon and just as vividly as her by nibbling on her lips and french kissing her as if it was the first time in years. Seulgi missed Taeyong, she really did. Taeyong encircled her waist with his arms and lifted Seulgi so she could wrap her legs around him. Seulgi unknowingly brought him closer to her as their kiss was becoming more and more hungry and making them both feel dizzy at the touch of their bodies. It was burning. Taeyong clumsily walked to his bedroom with for only task in mind to show Seulgi how much he missed her. He carefully let her fall on his bed before crawling on top of her and taking off her shirt at the same time. "Admit it Taeyong the only disease you have is your fear of commitment," Seulgi said as she unbuttoned Taeyong's dress shirt. His hand was caressing her cheek and the other running on every inch of her skin he could reach. Taeyong nuzzled the crook of her neck to take in her warmth and scent as he kissed her skin. He let tiny kisses all over her neck and shoulders before going down. He didn't know he could miss a detail about someone like the softness of their skin or their scent before that detail became about Seulgi. He swore he could get drunk with her body. "At this point you could even make me admit that the Earth is flat," Taeyong confessed before roughly claiming Seulgi's lips again. He sucked on her lower lip to ask for entrance and started on a breathless kiss as soon as Seulgi let him. "Do you know how much power you have over me? It's frightening," he grunted. "Then write a novel about me." "I can't, I only write about break ups. And I'm not letting you go anytime soon," Taeyong murmured in her ear as he unzipped her jeans. "Not now, not tomorrow and surely not before I finish making love to you the way you deserve it." - - - - - - - Seulgi and Taeyong were both entangled in a situation they couldn't really label. She refused to call herself his girlfriend again and he said that lovewas to make her scream his name until she forgot hers. That wasn't exactly what she was looking for. "Can't you think harder?" Seulgi said as she rested her head on his chest. "I'm sure an idea will pop. You're a writer." Taeyong scoffed. "The day I start writing about people falling in love I will have a ring on my fourth finger and children running after me in the kind of house you see on commercials," he let her known with a grimace. "Basically, never." "Is it so bad to have a family? And a ring is just a ring if it doesn't have any meaning," Seulgi softly retorted. "I wear earrings but imagine if we started using them to represent people we hate. Two people will have matched earrings and wear it to tell the whole world how much they hate each other," she explained. "It could happen in some fictive world, but these are just earrings. We could only have the rings and the love and forget the certificate." Taeyong looked over her with a warm smile before planting a playful kiss on her cheek. "If you say it like that than sure it doesn't sound so bad." "It doesn't sound so bad because you would be married to me, don't delude yourself," she chuckled as she played with his shirt. "Indeed, it wouldn't be so bad," Taeyong repeated as his eyes searched for hers. Seulgi looked up and smiled to him. "Taeyong could you please propose to me just so I can say no?" Seulgi asked. "It would be the best break up comeback ever." "I will not propose to you just so you can live your sadistic fantasies Seulgi. And we haven'tbroken up," Taeyong decided. "You are still mine and I am yours." Taeyong leaned and kissed her softly on the lips. "Until I get bored of you. How about we go for my 10 months trial now?" Seulgi proposed with a mishievious grin.
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